Authentic Senusal Living - Amorosa Bella

Pleasures of Kindness

What do your senses tell you about “Kindness?”

What is kindness?  .  How do you “feel” when you are kind or unkind?

I like a definition for kindness in elementary terms of interpersonal interactions.  Kindness is simply caring.  Kindness is being fully aware, thinking of others, acting courteously, showing empathy, exercising patience, and showing up as your best self in the world.

Harvard School of Medicine research, as reported in Allan Luks’ book, “The Healing Power of Doing Good,” supports a theory for “helper’s high.”  Helper’s high is much like the well-publicized runner’s high.  Sharing kindness to others gives me a rush of satisfying pleasure followed by a wave of soothing calm. 

Recent research explains that those changes I feel in my body are triggered by naturally occurring endorphins, neurotransmitter—messenger molecules that carry signals to my brain.  Endorphin-linked effects produce a terrific physical sense of wellbeing, reduce body pain, heighten self-esteem, enhance tendencies to create emotional bonds, and initiate a subsequent calm. 

Doesn’t helper’s high sound like a great way to improve elevator etiquette? 

I do not believe that kindness is a lost art.  If fact, I understand that kindness is a piece of evolutionary foundation.  During the age of early man, the human species depended on kindness to survive, living in villages, hunting and gathering as a tribe; the human race would not have survived without caring communities.

Reaching out to others, with the intention to serve, with no expectation of return, rewards you with a sense of power and influence over situations that appear out of your control.  You are no longer a victim of an unfortunate circumstance.  An act of kindness is never insignificant.

Kindness is strength—but strength does not only come from physical capacity. 

Brene’ Brown PhD, renown psychotherapist and author writes, “Cruelty is never brave—it’s mostly cheap and easy, especially in today’s culture.”

Who do you admire?  What traits of leadership and power do they portray?  Stories throughout history and literature praise the traits a “Good King.”

Dogen, Master of enlightenment prophesizes, “Zen is simply the easy and pleasant practice of Buddha, the Realization of Buddha’s Wisdom.  To know yourself is to forget yourself.”

 

Posted at 06:27 AM in Sensual Lifestyle | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Technorati Tags: Allan Luks, Brene Brown, Buddha, Charlyn Belluzzo, helper's high, runner's high, Zen

The Five Love Languages

By Peg Melnik, Co-Author, “Make Love When Ever Possible When Married With Children” http://makelovewheneverpossible.com/index.php/ 

Contact Peg at melniknote@aol.com or 707-479-3880

___________________________

 I was shocked.

 I had been married for more than a decade and my husband and I didn’t speak the same language – love language that is.

 We were like Lucy and Ricky Ricardo on opening night at the Tropicana with well-intentioned miscommunication creating zany antics. We needed an interpreter and fast.

 After reading “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, it all began to add up. It was as though Cupid’s GPS had malfunctioned, preventing a flurry of arrows from reaching their mark.

 When thinking about the book, I had a flash. With a 62 percent divorce rate in America, how many of these couples might have made it if only they had been bilingual.

 The theory of this international best seller is that everyone has a primary love language and it falls into one of the following categories: 1) Words of Affirmation; 2) Quality Time; 3) Gifts; 4) Acts of Service and 5) Physical Touch. (Click to this link http://amorosabella.com/marketplace/books/home.php to see our book summary).

 When I finished the book I told my husband I had alarming news: We were not fluent in love. I told him my diagnosis: His primary love language is Acts of Service, while mine is Quality Time. I followed up with the cure: I needed to pamper him with acts of service and he needed to pamper me with inventive dates.

 My husband shrugged his shoulders, as if to say the romance languages are confusing. But it’s what happened next that really surprised me. As I bumped up my Acts of Service, he noticed my kind gestures and it motivated him to plan more dates.

 This is encouraging considering this is man is Romeo when planning a date, particularly when there’s a secret involved.  When we honeymooned in Nantucket, he secretly arranged to have a fancy restaurant rig up a lobster dinner and champagne in a box so we could have a picnic dinner on the beach.

 I had no idea what was in the box and I absolutely loved the not knowing of it.  I never would have believed you could package that much romance in one box.

There's hope afterall. I'm certain we can become fluent in love.




Posted at 11:51 PM in Sensual Lifestyle | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Technorati Tags: Amorosa Bella, Five Love Languages, love relationship, loving marriage, Peg Melnik

Erotic Capital

The French concept, known as belle laide, refers to a less attractive woman becoming appealing and even alluring through her personal presentation, social skills and style. 

The theory behind belle laide is based on the notion that natural attraction or what we call “sex appeal” requires some level of physical beauty, talent, and ability, but can also be learnt.  Training and development can take you far beyond what nature gifted you.

A colleague of mine, Catherine Hakim, Professor of Economic Sociology, London School of Economics http://personal.lse.ac.uk/hakimc/, recently published her emerging research on the socio-economic theory of Erotic Capital. 

Hakim’s work has been published in European Sociological Review an Oxford Journals publication http://esr.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/content/abstract/jcq014v1?maxtoshow=&hits=10&RESULTFORMAT=&fulltext=erotic+capital&searchid=1&FIRSTINDEX=0&resourcetype=HWCIT, the March 23rd issue of Project http://www.prospectmagazine.co.uk/2010/03/have-you-got-erotic-capital/ and March 27th issue of The Financial Times http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/960cd280-390e-11df-8970-00144feabdc0.html.

Erotic capital is a multi-faceted asset and is very different from economic, social, and cultural capital and is an essential concept for understanding social processes in the public and private sectors of contemporary society. 

The thesis is that erotic capital is on the rise and is gaining social and economic important, giving women an advantage, and is a key factor in women’s changing status in society and the economy.

In particular labor markets, erotic capital can be more important than economic or social capital and can boost hiring and advancement opportunities in some professions as much, or even more than education and experience, according to investigations included in Hakim’s research. 

Theorists may have overlooked erotic capital as an important hidden factor enhancing success in all jobs.

The skills necessary to build your erotic capital are not new.  Throughout history and in all societies, women have exploited their erotic capital for upward social mobility through the marriage market instead of the labor market. 

Characteristics for building your erotic capital include:

·       Intellectual vitality and grasp of current world events

·       Energetic, physical fitness and graceful movement

·       Exceptional personal grooming

·       Engaging sense of humor and wit

·       Liveliness and attraction to adventure

·       Warmth, sensitivity and genuine human empathy

These are characteristics we can all exercise and develop to augment your natural beauty and erotic capital. 

You can also find more tips to amplify your appeal in my book, “Authentic Sensual Living”, in Chapter 6, Radiantly Authentic and Sensual.

Posted at 07:40 PM in Sensual Lifestyle | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Technorati Tags: authentic sensual living, belle laide, catherine hikam, charlyn belluzzo, erotic capital, financial times, london school of economics, prospect magazine

Sweet Desires and Wild Delight

Passion for authentic sensual living translates into passion for life.  As you authentically experience life with all your senses, living in the present, you see its beauty in full splendor.

It is January 2010, the dawn of a new decade.   The key to harnessing the power of authenticity and sensuality is to allow your emotions to rein and your mind to serve.  Your senses are directly linked to emotions and your mind is the software that interprets the input, makes decisions based on the input and directs physical responses.  You respond authentically, being who-you-really-are, when you shift from your mind to your heart.

Start the New Year by indulging yourself in “Sweet Desires and Wild Delight”, a workshop in the craft and conversation of Love. 

Join Cassandra Light, http://www.wayofthedoll.com/WOTD-Light.pdf relationship counselor, life coach, teach, artist and author and Susan Burks http://www.naturalaffinities.com/Home.html artist, designer, and corporate consultant for an incredibly life affirming afternoon. 

These beautiful women deliver a nurturing and delightful experience sharing stories, making art and guide you on a journey exploring mythology, alchemy and rituals that transform dreams and passions into expressions of love! 

You are the artist, the poet, and the chef expressing your hearts desires as you design and fill your “box” – a love charm full of images, poetry and luscious handmade chocolates. 

Through conversation and the communion of shared creativity, this workshop with awaken your to your sweetest desires and find more of the wisdom and insight to experience your wildest delights!

Date: Choose one of three available Saturdays:

January 30, February 8, or February 13

Time: 1 pm – 5 pm

Cost: $150 (Included ALL materials)

Locations: SF Bay Area

Contact for Full Details:           Cassandra Light – cassandralight@yahoo.com

                                                Susan Burks – burks.susan@att.net


Posted at 08:06 PM in Sensual Lifestyle | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

“Feel” A Love Affair With Life

Congratulations on accepting the challenge to rediscover all of your senses!  In my recent book, Authentic Sensual Living, I invite you to explore all of your senses.  I promise you that your life will be richer.

In scientific terms, I explain to you how your emotions control your mind.  The key to harnessing the power of authenticity and sensuality is to allow your emotions to reign and your mind to serve.  Yet, some of you argue that emotions are so random; you fear that if you allowed your emotions to rule, your life would spin out of control!

Quite the contrary will occur.  I am inviting you to “feel” all your emotions without attaching judgments or thoughts.  When you acknowledge all of your feelings, your sensitivity to the world around you increases exponentially. 

Stress becomes more manageable and empathy for others becomes second nature.  You respond authentically being who-you-really-are, when you shift from your mind to your heart. 

Certainly, you have encountered those extraordinary people that seem to have a never-ending love affair with life going on.  Maybe you are one of those people!  Their cup of life seems to always be filled and overflows to others in the form of kindness and respect.

Yet, if you closely examine the lives of these extraordinary people, they have tragedy and pain much like your own.  This fact is hard to explain, yet all you really need to know is that these positive people are highly infectious!  Bring them into your life and you, by pure association, will take on some of these lovely attributes that are so desirable to possess.  The pleasure will be ALL yours.

I would like to introduce you to one of these very special people.  Her name is Elaine Springer.  I became acquainted with Elaine when she “signed up” on my website, Amorosa Bella, and introduced herself. 

I was intrigued by her email address and searched online for her name and website.  I was thrilled with the information that I found.  I am delighted to be touched my Elaine’s radiant authentic energy.   

Elaine’s professional title is “Wisdom Teacher and Lifestyle Consultant”.  She is the founder of eBeauty & Grace http://www.ebeautyandgrace.com.  Please visit Elaine’s site and take the time to get to know her.

Elaine brings grace, joy, and balance to everyone with whom she works.  Her clients claim that as she opens her heart and soul to you, you discover the grace and beauty in yourself and in the life you are living. 

Elaine is a magic mirror, reflecting the power and beauty of others.  Seeing yourself through Elaine’s eyes is an opportunity to see you at your best. 

People like Elaine create a chain reaction of seismic proportion.  Good vibrations radiate in all directions.  Society can be tuned to match this beautiful vibration as we increase our able to FEEL it.

F – Focus on reality

E – Explore who you really are

E – Experiment with being in command of your own perspective

L – Let go of your thoughts; allow your authentic feelings to guide        your behavior

Posted at 11:16 PM in Sensual Lifestyle | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

Welcome Back to Your Senses!

Thank you for reading the first post on our Amorosa Bella blog!

My name is Dr. Charlyn Belluzzo.  

I have written a new book, Authentic Sensual Living, as your guide to experiencing life through all of your senses. The book has not yet been released to the public, but this is the ISBN for paperback 0-578-01253-7 and ISBN for hardcover 1-4392-4679-3. 

As you read my book, you will master your ability to “feel”.  I invite you to take a journey with me through this book.  The two most important principles are:

·       The quality of your life is measured in moments of living, not years of life. 

·       You can experience each moment of your life through all your senses, often on multiple levels at the very same time.

My book takes a "storytelling" approach; sharing many examples from the experiences of others, allowing us to reflect on our own view of the world and then provides a platform to design your own authentic sensual living plan.  

Here is a sample story from my book that was told by Michael Oliver, a splendid chef and impressive author of cookbooks, especially for children.

The story goes something like this: 

“On a long stretch of beach with a crashing surf, a young lad runs barefoot in sand, tethered to his soaring kite’s string.  The boy notices in the distance, a silhouette of a man standing at the edge of the water.  As the boy flies his kite down the beach closer to the figure he stops dead in his tracks.  The kite falls limp on the sand, as the boy stands awestruck beside his new discovery. Hand drawn in the wet sand are numerous works of art; astonishingly beautiful portraits, castles, flowers, women dancing, a dream-like gallery of original art.  This spellbinding sight immobilizes the young lad.  Tears of joy filled the boy’s eyes.  He marvels at each of the drawings, each one as striking as the next, as he slowly closed the distance between himself and the genius artist, the old man at the edge of the water.  The young lad wants to express his enchantment to the old man…then suddenly a huge wave pummels the beach where the drawings lay and the scenes are instantly erased.  The young lad smiles and picked up his kite as the old man leaves the beach; he is Pablo Picasso”.

The quality of your life is measured moment to moment.  Experience its richness now, for in the next moment, it may all be gone.  Waves of change crash in on you continually during the course of your life.  Some waves you welcome as positive change and some are less pleasant, bringing hardship or sorrow.  The richness of life is a swinging pendulum; both bitter and sweet situations add spice and balance to your human existence. 

Experience your life with all of your senses ignited, simultaneously if multiple senses are triggered.  The story above takes place on a beach in Southern France.  Smell the scents of the sea, hear the gulls cry and the whistle of the wind, feel the moist wind on our face and the coarse sand under your feet, see the waves curl and the clouds float by overhead.

Return to Amorosa Bella: http://www.amorosabella.com/index.html

Posted at 09:39 AM in Sensual Lifestyle | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)

About the Author

  • Charlyn Belluzzo is a doctor trained in global health and economic development, an author, a mother, and owner of Amorosa Bella, online sensual luxury marketplace.

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